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February 10, 2017
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Uh oh, it's time to have "the talk." A lot of you may have instantly thought of that ever-dreadful moment where your kids ask you where babies come from. That's not "the talk" I'm talking about. I'm talking about when we see our parents age, and there are changes that need to be made in their lives that are difficult to discuss. It could be the need to tell them to stop driving, or the need to talk about a better home environment where they can receive more care. None of us really want to have "the talk" but it still needs to be done. I'm sure you have seen those articles or news stories about a 90 something year old that drives into a store and hurts people. See an example here. When we hear those stories, the knee jerk reaction is to think, why did her family let her drive? But then when it comes to our own parents, we shirk at the idea of taking away Mom's keys. Funny how that works.

How about when Mom or Dad can't take care of themselves anymore? Do you know the signs and symptoms to look for when they do need help? I found a good article here that will give you some help in that area.

So, you know you need to have "the talk," but how should you do it? I would definitely do it in person, this is not an over the phone or by e-mail discussion. I would calmly present your concerns, and be ready to listen well and not to argue. After all, how would you like it if someone took your keys away for your beloved car? Or if someone told you that you needed to move out of your house you owned and cared for the last 40 years? Go slow, and come from a place of love and concern. They may not agree with you the first time, and that's ok. Big changes take time.

As always, if you need help in this area, don't hesitate to contact us to speak to a social worker. They can help you with these concerns.

-Greg Poulos, Chaplain (InTeliCare Hospice- Novi)